I just noticed that I haven’t written a blog since December. On my YouTube channel AVoiceCrying33 I have only made a handful of videos this year.
I could say that I was busy with my work as an advocate for the mentally ill and a benefit I am working on to help fight stigma in High Schools. But the truth is, I haven’t done it because I am lazy and depressed.
It is very hard not to be depressed as a Christian in Trump’s America. We are overwhelmed with hypocrisy and Trump does so much awful and unchristian stuff it is sometimes feels like you are drowning. So I distract myself with TV and Facebook. I put off writing because I either don’t want to or I feel so overwhelmed that nothing of any import comes out. It just becomes a stream of word vomit 🤮.
Why is the vomit emoji vomiting what looks like green slime from “You Can’t Do That On Television” if they wanted to be accurate it would be an orange brown, but I digress.
The reason I should write is that I need to write. I need to get the thoughts out of my head. Either writing or making my videos is the best way to do it. I just have to get over the 5 minute blank screen hump. Nothing annoys or bothers a writer more than a blank screen. It is like it is taunting you “Come on you got something to say? I dare you. You got nothing!
But I do have a voice. And an interesting voice at that. I have a voice of a lapsed agnostic. Someone who thought that Christianity was nothing but a hypocritical lie. Someone who saw the Jerry Falwells, the Pat Robertson’s, the Sarah Palins and bought the lie that THEY are evangelical Christianity.
But these are not Christian. They are apostates who have long ago abandoned Jesus’s teachings and as He said in John 14:23-24
These people kill the faith. They were bad in September 2008 when I was born again. But they are a 100 times worse now 10 years later. They sold their soul to a sexual predator, a conman who has served money all of his life. Instead of selling out Jesus for 30 pieces of silver like Judas. They sold him out for two Supreme Court picks. One who has lied twice at his previous confirmation hearings.
Today’s sermon was about asking God questions and we were asked to write down a question to God and put it in the collection plate. I wrote two.
Number 1: why do you allow the Religious Right to be such hypocrites that they push people away from the faith?
Number 2: Why can’t you tell me crystal clear what you want me to do?
I felt God whisper in my ear “write.” I have this blog. I should use it. Maybe it will take off and I will reach thousands, maybe I will only reach 10. That is not up to me. That is up to God. But I have to write.
I lack discipline, spiritual and otherwise. I know that for a blog to be successful, the blogger should write at least twice a week and that is what I plan to do. Thinking of writing a series on the 7 deadly sins in regard to both Trump and myself.